Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Trek Or Treat

Welp, it's almost Halloween. Tomorrow night I'll be busy handing out (what I haven't already eaten of the) candy so I figured I'd post a handy list of Star Trek creepisodes just incase you want to snuggle up with a (insert your pumpkin-flavored beverage of choice here) and have Trek-o-Ween.

Catspaw: This is a no-nonsense Halloween episode. It ran Halloween week and features witches, spooky castles, and black cats. Pretty much Star Trek meets Addams Family.
Seriously though, did they just sneak onto the Munsters set to shoot this?
Wolf In The Fold: Scotty is accused of murdering a belly dancer and it's all hocus-pocus seances to figure out who really did the deed.

And The Children Shall Lead: If you think kids are creepy (and who doesn't, really?) this crazy-town Lord of the Flies-style episode will probably freak you out.

The Animated Series
I'll bet you thought I wasn't going to write about TAS.
Wrong, buster! I'm on top of this!
The Magicks of Megas-Tu: The crew is transported to an alternate universe where magic is real and science doesn't work. They end up in a weirdo reverse Salem witch trial and lots of crazy lore (this is magick with a k we're talking about here) is put forth for your fake history enjoyment.

Schisms: Ok, I am legit scared of two things: the dark and alien abduction. The Barenaked Ladies went straight to the heart of it with "watching X-Files with no lights on." This episode (wherein several members of the crew are abducted by aliens) overrides any ability I may have to apply logic to my irrational fear.
I can't even look at this.
Night Terrors: This one is literally called Night Terrors. It's 45-minutes worth of jacked-up space dreams.

Conspiracy: So, maybe some aliens are taking over Starfleet little by little. They have creepy, creepy fish tails (what I thought they looked like when I was five and watched this episode) sticking out of their necks and there's lots of guts and people acting super weird. As a kid, this episode gave me nightmares, what more do you need to know?

Whispers: O'Brien comes back to the station to find everyone acting really strange and creepy. Have they been replaced? Or is it something even darker and more sinister?
This is Miles in every episode: freaked out and put upon,
wondering why he ever left the Enterprise.
Pah-Wraith: O'Brien (because why would it be anyone else?) discovers that his wife has been replaced by an evil, fire-cave-dwelling demon. She has a list of demands and unless he complies she's going to start a-killin'.

Empok Nor: O'Brien, (seriously? How is he not in 24-7 therapy?) Nog, Garak and a team of completely expendable security officers check out a deserted Cardassion space station that's HAUNTED.

Darkling: The Doctor tries to implement some extra personality traits onto his matrix (because that sounds like a great idea) and ends up turning himself into a Gothic novel villain.
Star Trek once again making me feel weird about my attraction to evil geniuses.
Night: Voyager is stuck in a dark region of space and their lights get cut off. Soon enough, some local residents come knocking. And by "knocking" I mean "appearing in the hallway all spooky-like."

Scientific Method: Aliens screwing with people. Once again, I'm extra weirded out by alien experimentation (even though I'm a totally logical person who knows that stuff has been totally debunked) so this episode is one I can't watch alone or at night. Basically, this is one for the freezer.

The Haunting of Deck Twelve: Neelix is straight up telling ghost stories to a bunch of Borg kids who heard from Naomi Wildman (in a scene that I imagine must've been exactly like the one in The Sandlot) about a ghost on deck 12.

Fight Or Flight: The Enterprise comes upon an abandoned ship full of dead bodies--made creepier by the fact that they're hanging upside down.
Note: Nothing good ever happens on abandoned ships.
They're abandoned for a reason.
People don't just leave perfectly good warp-capable vessels floating around.
Doctor's Orders: Phlox and T'Pol have to traverse a large region of space all by themselves while the rest of the crew are suspended in a death-like sleep.

Impulse: Zombie Vulcans attacking everyone. Night of the Living Vulcan? 28 Stardates Later?  He's Undead, Jim?

Every Single Mirror Episode: Why? They're essentially our Star Trek friends dressed up all sexy and acting like jerks. Ie- Halloween.

Twilight Zone: Nightmare at 20,000 Feet: Ok, this isn't Star Trek but it is Shatner-Pre-Kirk freaking the hell out in black and white over a monster on the wing of his plane. This is a serious pop-culture classic so you need to see it at some point and Halloween's as good a night as any.
Actually, no, don't watch this one at night.


  1. Great choices! “Night Terrors” was my all-time favorite for a scary mood. From TOS, “Return of the Archons” was pretty haunting with those men in hooded robes stalking the crew. A couple others from TNG: “Devil’s Due” --the creepy Ardra-- “Man of the People” when Troi gets slowly turned into a witch by ambassador Alkar’s magic crystal, and “Remember Me” where the crew around Crusher keeps shrinking. Love that classic “Twilight Zone” episode with Shatner also!

  2. "Every Single Mirror Episode: Why? They're essentially our Star Trek friends dressed up all sexy and acting like jerks. Ie- Halloween." This made me LOL hard. Today, I'm going to wear my tightest clothes, tie a sock around my head, act like the biggest bitch, and insist that everybody call me "The Indendant" because HALLOWEEN.


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