Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Golana Melon

Last week while I was at the grocery store I happened upon a pile of prickly little orange fruits and thought to myself, "Hmm. That looks like some kind of Star Trek fruit." So I (not being one to turn down whatever crazy fruit my grocer puts in front of me) grabbed one (carefully) and put it in the cart.

Later on, I looked up the fruit and found that it was a kiwano or African horned melon or Cucumus metuliferus and that the one I had sitting on my counter was indeed ripe and should be ready to eat. Since it was a melon I put it in the fridge and decided to eat it when I was hot and it was cold. The next morning, I went for a run. Let me just take an aside here and tell you that I suck at running. This really gets my goat because both of my parents were runners. My mom ran hurdles in high school, my dad was a champion cross country runner in college. I have always run like a baby giraffe whose probably just eaten something horrid. But, whatever, every now and then I decide to try and be a runner. And now is one of those times, baby giraffe or not.

So anyway, I went for my terrible run and when I got back I was plenty hot (and also panting and gasping and clutching at the counter so's not to faint) and the melon was plenty cold and I'd read up on how to hack into one of them online and thus:

We both tried it and Scott was not a fan but I was. Actually, I ended up eating my half and his. The kiwano melon tastes sort of like a cucumber mixed with a lime and the consistency is basically white watermelon seeds in a multitude of gelatinous sacks. The result is a fruit that is assuredly SciFi. 

As I was chowing down I sent a couple picture texts to my mom and said, "Look at this Star Trek fruit!" And then I remembered that in all my googling I'd neglected to see whether the fruit was actually featured on Star Trek so then I finally tracked it down and... yes: 

Remember when Molly fell through a hole in time and when she came back out she was a feral teenager and Miles was like, "Hey remember this delicious fruit you used to eat?!" Well, that's what this is--an African Horned Melon AKA the Golana Melon. Though, it looks like some poor prop guy had to cut all the spines off so (and this is wild conjecture) the actor types wouldn't hurt their widdle fingers. It's much more metal with the spines still on, obviously. But I don't want to be the guy who gets a call from Mr. Meaney's agent wondering why his client had to handle spiny, gelatinous fruit all day. 

Anyway, this weird fruit was totally worth the price of admission (about three dollars) for this Star Trek fan and if you're into sweet/tart gooey food that fights back harder than a targ with a head cold then I'd urge you to head on down to your deep space station's cantina to pick up a couple for yourself. 

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...