Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Seven Of Mom

I've never wanted kids. Even as a kid I knew I didn't want kids. I just don't have that part of my brain. Attempting to imagine my life with children, my brain goes into a startling shut-down mode where all I can picture is darkness and all I can hear is screaming. That's not even a joke. It's true. I basically suffer cascade failure at the idea of producing offspring.

Even so, I've worked with kids for over a decade. I have four younger siblings and I started babysitting when I was twelve. I love kids. I've created story times, outreaches, plays, and preschool arts program, and an entire Shakespeare camp dedicated to encouraging a love of theatre in rural kids who have limited access to the arts. My Shakespeare camp has run for ten years. Ten years!
Do you know what ten years is to a kid? That's basically forever. I've watched these kids grow into amazing people. After all that time, working so intensely with them, I know them as well as I know my own family. They make me insane and I get absolutely furious with them occasionally but I'm proud of them. I love them. I consider them my family--my children.

I've been thinking about that a lot lately as I watched Voyager, and Seven specifically, take on a brood of Borglets. I'm already a lot like Seven so as she adapted to life with young people, I empathized. When she set high standards for them, watched them succeed or fail, struggled with them bucking her authority, helped them reach their potential, and then had to say goodbye, I got it. Seven isn't a mom. Maybe she's missing that part of her brain too. However, that doesn't mean that there isn't room in her heart for a few misfit kids.

So what I'm saying is: I get it. I only wish that every year, when I have to say goodbye to my kids and tears start rolling down my cheeks, I could use my malfunctioning ocular implant as an excuse.

1 comment:

  1. I've been a lurker since February, but high-five for eloquently explaining that just because you don't want kids doesn't mean you hate them. I love my boyfriend's nieces, but I don't want my own. I also make funny faces at babies in public and will chat with your cool school-age kid if we're friends. I don't eat babies just because I don't want to be someone's mom. Also high-five for your program because it sounds amazing.-Jen


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