I’ve been so excited lately to finally get back on track and finish up season two. I’ve been so on top of things lately. Instead of watching a big chunk of episodes and then writing about them later, I’ve started watching one and writing about it that day or the next so it’s more fresh in my mind. I was all geared up to watch the Season 2 finale, Basics. But then, in the last couple of days, things really fell apart. Because of a family emergency I’m not sure when I’ll be able to get back to watching and blogging regularly and I didn’t get to watch Basics before all of this happened.
The thing is, I still really want to keep this streak going. I might not be able to use my Netflix at the moment but I can still write. So, here’s what I’m going to do:
AshleyRose’s Voyager Season Two Finale/Season Three Premier Re-Cap FROM MEMORY!
That’s right. I’ve not seen this episode in almost two years but, in this post, I’m going to attempt to recall as much of it as I can/guess what happens based on my vast Star Trek episode formula knowledge and supplement the post with photos I just have sitting around in my computer (because I don’t have access to the internet and I’m just going to post this as soon as I can hop online for five minutes). You can tell me how close I got in the comments.
Alright. Here we go. This might be completely incomprehensible but, you know, desperate times…
Janeway and Voyager are schlepping through the Delta Quadrant and…they get a phone call? Sure. Ok and it’s the Kazon, probably. Or someone running from the Kazon. Anyway, my special favorite baddies show up with their completely terrible seashell hair and somehow or another—oh, SESKA!—Seska gets them onboard. Ok so these guys are all clearly idiots but Seska has control and she’s all, “We’re here for the ship!” And Janeway’s probably all, “Over my dead body.” Lots of fighting ensues.
|Pretend Janeway's giving Seska some sass.|
Eventually the ship is totally overrun by Kazon and everyone is… gathered in the… cargo bay? Does this happen? This seems like the kind of thing I would do if I were writing this one. And then I would have Seska and Janeway face-off… and also maybe Chakotay and Seska because they apparently used to date and now… does she have a baby? OH! Wait. Is she there because she had the baby and it’s totally not Chakotay’s and she realzes her kid is going to have seashell hair and now she’s like, “Well, I better get me a ship if I can’t just spent the rest of my life lording this kid over Chakotay.”
Ok. Back to the probably cargo bay. Janeway/Seska face-off. I’d have Seska like… say something really biting and then Janeway is finally resigned to her fate and she and her whole crew are put off on some crap planet while Voyager flies away.
END OF BASICS PART ONE!
Part two. Alright so Seska’s in charge of the ship and Janeway and the whole crew are marooned on this BS planet with pretty much no supplies. Janeway… splits the crew up into recon units? They do some scouting and decide to go a certain way. Meanwhile, Naomi gets sick and maybe she’s running a fever. They… run into some hostile aliens? And then they run into a cave/caves.
Ok and then Neelix is like here’s some bugs we can eat! And some people scoff and then Janeway’s all, “Gimme them bugs!” and she eats a big handful and makes everyone feel really crappy about turning down bug dinner. So we’re eating bugs now.
|Pretend he's handing out grub(s).|
Sure. Sounds good. Meanwhile, Seska is flying away on Voyager… and… Alright so she knows The Doctor is still onboard and, let’s see, he tells them that he is a medical professional and has to serve whoever’s in charge of the ship and can do no harm etc etc. It’s all a big lie. He’s still really working for us.
And then… Oh! Ok so and then Suder—the Betazoid murderer—who was… maybe he was stuck on Voyager because of an explosion he’s been crawling through the jeffries tubes and now he shows up in sickbay and he’s all, “Here, lemme help you out with that Doctor” in his gorgeous North Carolina accent. And then they do some plotting. Probably they decide Suder should head on down to Engineering so he can tamper with that business like a pro.
Alright, back on the planet, the crew is having a real hard time. Naomi is wicked sick at this point and Kess (?) tries to help take care of her…and then, I think, somewhere along the way Hogan (who we’ve sen a lot lately) gets eaten by a cave monster who may look like a worm/lizard/scorpion I really can’t remember. Also I can’t really remember if it’s Hogan that gets eaten here or someone else.
I think they end up making friends with the natives and maybe someone gives someone else some herbs. Is there hopping on rocks involved? Is the floor lava? Am I thinking of something else? Anyway. They make friends because Janeway knows all about that biz. And then they survive long enough for The Doctor to come pick them up because…
Because back on the ship I’m pretty sure Suder sacrifices his life for Voyager and now we don’t have to deal with him being in house arrest forever and ever. This is kind of too bad because I love this character.
|Pretend he looks super heroic here.|
Alright, does anyone get a final showdown with Seska? This is pretty important and if I were doing it I’d definitely have a final showdown between Seska and Janeway/Chakotay.
And… DONE! I’ve now completed Season Two and started Season Three. Well, almost. As soon as I can claw my way back to regular life I’m going to watch these two episodes. Till then, I hope you’ve enjoyed my half-baked, semi remembered recap of Basics.
|Pretend this isn't a picture from two years ago.|