Thursday, August 13, 2015

Voyager Re-Watch: False Profits

Well, I watched False Profits on my phone in two different sittings--one at around 1am and the other at about 5am. I was cranky and in no mood to even be awake, let alone doing things. But, this wasn't too bad because False Profits is a romp. You know how I love a romp.

So what happens is Voyager detects a wormhole and they realize that it's actually a wormhole they've seen before on Next Gen  in the Alpha Quadrant so they decide to swing by and check it out because maybe this thing can take them home. When they get there they find that the Ferengis who ran into the damn thing seven years before have been stuck here ever since and have been parading around as gods among the planet's primitive culture. Obviously their presence isn't strictly (or at all) beneficial so Voyager finds it necessary to step in. And when I say Voyager, I mean Janeway. Because you know Janeway isn't about to let a couple of Ferengi ding-dongs take advantage of a bunch of old timey folks with an inexplicable shoe obsession. Hijinks ensue (as they do) and Neelix almost gets burned at the stake and eventually the wormhole closes and (surprise) Voyager is still stuck in the Delta Quadrant.

Cards on the table: I don't have any really exciting revelations about this episode. As much as I do love a romp and as much as I typically really enjoy this episode, I have to admit, I'm getting a little cranky. I'm not saying the shine's worn off the lobes. I'm just saying I'm tired and I haven't slept in any kind of actual human way for about a week and watching Voyager in the middle of the night on my phone isn't really the best way to go about things even though watching Voyager actually makes me less cranky.

Anyway, there's plenty to love about this episode:
-As I already mentioned, it's a romp--complete with Ferengi hijinks.
-Neelix is a fantastic Ferengi. Maybe that's because he'd had some practice in TNG's Ménage à Troi.
-The ear necklaces. Brilliant!
-The punny name. I love puns. I feel no shame about that.
-Ferengi costumes.
-Why are these people obsessed with shoes? I don't know but I think it's a great running joke.
-I'm glad we got a chance to see Janeway give some Ferengis the business.
I feel like maybe the reason I can't fully appreciate the rompiness of this one is the way it ends. Any time Voyager finds a possible way to get home I get a little irked if it doesn't seem like it's handled with enough gravity. Yes, we all know they're not going home in this episode. The writers know it. You know it. I know it. But... I mean, the characters don't know it. The idea that there's this wormhole that could spit them out a few lightyears from earth (literally the biggest deal to our TV friends) and these doofus Ferengi manage to not only get past their security guy, and shoot their way out of the shuttle bay, but also they--I don't know... evade?--Voyager long enough that the wormhole goes all bonkers and Voyager can't go in? It's maddening to just watch Voyager sit there within reach and twiddle their thumbs at the Ferengi. I mean... it's a problem. We all know it's a problem and I don't want to dwell on it. Even if I'm cranky.

There are plenty of reasons to watch False Profits. Even if the end is a little shaky this is still a solid, fun, energetic episode.

1 comment:

  1. I agree. I just rewatched that one myself, and I'm thinking who the f!()*#@&*@ cares about the Ferengi?? Get your crew home. I know they like to make Starfleet officers out to be paragons of virtue, but seriously.. I can't believe they aren't like "well, it probably won't be a big problem since the villagers want to burn them alive anyway so lets just let them go and hit that wormhole". Janeway hosed their way home in the pilot and now this, if I were her I'd have been worried about the crew wanting to tar and feather me lol.


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