Monday, September 30, 2013

The Chute

Back in May we moved into a new apartment, deeper in the city. We have a garbage chute which, on first blush, I thought was very urbane and made me feel like I lived on Seinfeld. (If you think this is silly or hipsterish please keep in mind I grew up in a town where the tallest building was four stories high so stuff like this happens. Chinese food delivery also makes me feel like Kramer could bust in on me at any moment and steal my cereal.)

But the garbage chute isn't urbane and cool and I don't think of witty sitcom banter while I'm walking my Ralph's-brand-sack down the hallway. The garbage chute is freaking awful. When we moved in, it was about 60 degrees outside but summer came quick and suddenly it was in the 90s and every single (non-ventalated) hallway suddenly smelled like a dump. The romance of city living has now completely worn off but we still have to take the trash down there every single day. (By the way, our neighbors have a habit of ditching their trash in the chute closet but not directly down the chute thereby blocking the door. You have to Jack Bauer your way in just to get rid of your coke zero and peanut shells.)

Ok, so all this brings me (kind of) to a similar chute in Voyager. Harry and Tom end up in a crazy-pants alien prison where everyone arrives via a chute. They slide in complete with grungy clothes and a blinking do-dad in their head called "a clamp" to cries of "New Prisoner!!!" from the other super pissed off guys. See--the clamp makes everyone extra-irritable. Including me. Much like the one where O'Brien is incarcerated in Brain Prison for twenty years, this one's hard to watch without much of a fun payoff and led me to create this picture of Harry and Tom fighting over a freaking pipe:

Anyway, tonight as I walked down the hall, forced my way in the door, and thrust a gross sack of trash down the chute I shouted, "NEW PRISONER!" and listened for signs of anyone trying to escape.

1 comment:

  1. Everything in my life I can relate to an episode of Friends. This totally reminds me of the one where Joey got stuck trying to rescue a pizza.


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