Saturday, January 19, 2013

Fight me, Jimmy!

Today is Saturday which usually means that my husband and I eat cheeseburgers and watch MMA fights. I've loved martial arts movies since I was a little girl and always wanted to take Karate or Judo. But, since I moved about every six months, I never really got the chance. Instead, I became a pretty big MMA fan. I haven't missed a UFC since 2006. I shout at the TV, know the names of all the referees, and have a favorite cutman.

I think a lot about martial arts while watching these old episodes of Star Trek. There's like an average of one fistfight per episode. I'm not sure exactly why they made Kirk get in so many scraps. I can speculate that because Star Trek is a "Western in Space," it makes sense genre-wise. And, when you think about it in the abstract, it does make sense. It's just that when you get down to the actual actors in the actual fistfights, the whole thing kind of breaks down. Spock has the Vulcan nerve pinch so as long as he can get the jump on someone, he's the automatic winner and McCoy pretty much stays away from the carnage. Then there's Kirk. Kirk gets in A LOT of fights. And, he's not particularly good at it. Actually, he's pretty terrible. I didn't remember thinking this when I was a kid but it's painfully obvious now.

Watching Kirk struggle through most fights, I find myself shouting slurs as if I were his cornerman.  He needs some coaching in that awesome gym they have on the Enterprise. He needs help from Greg Jackson or the Gracies or maybe Ronda Rousey. Actually, I'd love to see Kirk fight Ronda Rousey.

In the world of TOS, Kirk would woo Rousey instead of punching her and then she would help him escape whatever crazy fight-club scenario he's been sucked into. But, in my head, Kirk tries his trusty, two-fisted back smash (I'm gonna call it, "The Kirk") then Rousey immediately armbars him until he cries for McCoy. It'd be over so fast I wouldn't even have time to unwrap my cheeseburger.

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