Tuesday, April 2, 2013

The Best of Both Worlds

When I was a kid, my parents got divorced. I can't say that I was completely surprised, even then. In those days, it seemed like everyone's parents (in real life and on TV) were splitting up. Still, it was pretty sudden. One day we were all living together and the next day, I was riding in the passenger seat with a coloring book on my lap, trying not to ask too many questions.  I didn't want to make trouble, didn't want to cry and whine, didn't want to be the star of a very special episode of my life.

We left in February and by March I was in a new school in a new town. I had new classmates and, as we'd moved several times before, I was used to the drill. I showed up. I excelled. I didn't make many friends. I didn't do my homework.

Then, all at once, it was summer. Time slowed down. The recent events of my life caught up with me. And, one night, there I was, watching "Best of Both Worlds." My mom was asleep but I wasn't. I was wide awake and I couldn't look away.

My lifelong love of Star Trek hadn't gone anywhere in all this time and I sat there, watching the season finale, by myself. I watched as Commander Shelby upset the balance of the ship. I watched as the Enterprise encountered the Borg and as Picard was suddenly taken. When he turned toward the camera and said, "I am Locutus of Borg," I pretty much lost it.

For several months, I'd kept it together. But, sitting there in a new living room, in a new town, when I hadn't seen my dad in months, I realized how much I needed my Star Trek friends to just maintain the status quo. They had always reliable and steadfast. They were good people doing good things and they didn't need a special reason for it. They were friends. They played poker and gave each other advice and they would all die for each other. They were unchanging and episodic. They were comforting. That's what I needed.

But, on that night in June, that's not what happened. Instead, Locutus of Borg happened and five months of built up tears and fear and anxiety poured out of me as the credits rolled and the familiar music played and I knew I would have to wait all summer to find out whether Picard would be ok. Whether my Star Trek friends would be ok. Whether I would be ok.


  1. Oh god, that was NOT the episode to be watching when you felt like that!

  2. I can completely relate to this. I was in high school when this episode originally aired and it had an impact on me for a different reason, but it definitely left me with this sense that everything was in turmoil.


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