Monday, August 18, 2014

Because Holodecks Don't Exist: Running On Empty

Ok so last week was--it was depressing. And I've been having a hard time.

Robin Williams died and I wrote a post about it and things pretty much went downhill from there. What's going on? Well, I didn't get to do my Shakespeare Camp this year. This would've been its 10th year. Maybe I'll write more about that later. But the loss of it has been awful. I've been having problems with my current novel. Family stuff. Etc etc. Oh, and my arm/shoulder is still messed up. Not being able to lift has really affected my happiness level and, after several weeks of all this compounded with last week's issues, I kind of ran out of steam.

So, what do I do when I my endorphin tank is empty? When I get so deep in a hole that I kind of don't even want to come out?

#1- Kiki's Delivery Service
My Kiki DVD is about ten years old and covered in scratches that read like a map of my various depressive episodes. I plan on writing a whole, probably over-long post about why I'm obsessed with this 1989 Miyazaki classic so I won't go into it too much here. Just know that, for me, there's nothing better thank settling in with Kiki when I'm feeling really, really down.

#2- LOTR: The Two Towers
I finished this book last week and started Return of the King and now I'm about 30% in. These books have been amazing therapy for me. I find myself actually trying to slow down now because I want the experience to last longer. Last week though, I was storming through The Two Towers and it gave me two specific gifts:
This scene: 
And this one: 
 I cried like you wouldn't even believe in the first and the second had me buying potatoes just so I'd have an excuse to go around the house constantly repeating the words, "What's taters, Precious!?"

#3- Pride and Prejudice, 2005
I know there's a lot of heated debate in the Austen Movie Fandoms about which adaptation is better--even which Darcy is better. But my first P&P was Joe Wright's. This is the movie that made me want to read the novel and, when I finally did, I loved it. I get why hardcore 1995 fans aren't into this adaptation but I don't watch the film so I can see a faithful adaptation--if I want the full force of Austen's searing prose and complicated social nuances, I'll just re-read the novel--I watch this one for long takes of the sunrise filtered through fog, rolling over hills, for the gorgeous piano soundtrack, for the way Wright managed to modernize and channel the subtleties of P&P's complicated romantic/non-romantic relationships into wordless or nearly wordless modes of communication, and the way Austen's English countryside is basically a main character. This film may gloss over a lot of what makes P&P sizzle but, in the end, what it gets right, is the emotional heart. Basically, I watch this one because it's a fantastic, beautiful film and it totally calms me down when I'm freaking out. 

Other things I've been doing? 
I made these posters for my friend Kristin's High School English classroom: 

I was also reminded that I have some pretty fantastic friendships stretched out across the internets. My friend, Ben, sent me this crazy super-cut of poor Mr. Wof getting shut down over and over and over: 


Oh, Worf, don't feel bad. When you get back to your quarters, just pop Kiki's Delivery Service into the DVD player (because Disney still won't have released them on instant play) and make some hot cocoa (or prune juice) and Nutella toast and enjoy the evening as your endorphin tank gets a much needed fill-up. 

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